It’s Z-Day. ALL Zappos family members have until the close of business today to decide whether to accept my most generous offer: 3 months severance or 1 month’s salary for every sacred year spent at the happiest company in the galaxy, whichever is greater. I had never considered that I could accept this offer up until two minutes ago. I’d walk away with 16 months salary, a sack full of Zollars, plus no more calls from Jeffrey. My head is spinning. I wonder if Zapponians can relate at all to the stress I’m feeling due to this big decision? I feel so ungrounded, vulnerable, and alone in this moment. So much core value #10 going on right here, right now.
Before making any big decision like this, I’d normally walk over to Kabob Korner and snack on a #2 combo, which I’ve since learned is a dirty #DTLV pigeon on a stick. Sadly, my favorite purveyor of meat on a stick is no more. I won’t risk eating at the Zappos Bistro. Word is spreading that one of Chef Boyarbistro’s secret ingredients will leave you hugging a toilet far into the next decade. I need a quiet place to think and eat. Maybe I’ll head over to the Golden Nugget buffet. The food is blah and the atmosphere is even more so, but, aside from the over 70 crowd, I’ll have the place to myself.
What am I thinking?! I can’t even decide where to go eat lunch. How can I decide to take the offer in this condition? I think I’ll find my two tin “men” and the cowardly lion and talk teal with them. They normally help me brainstorm tealy ideas to unleash on Zapponians, which takes my mind off my inner turmoil. I mean, if two hatchet carrying decihumans searching for hearts and a man pretending to be a lion who’s desperately seeking courage can’t provide comfort in the midst of a crisis, who can?
What say you dear readers…