The happiness wars

The idea began percolating, said Dan Price, the founder of Gravity Payments, after he read an article on happiness. It showed that, for people who earn less than about $70,000, extra money makes a big difference in their lives.

New York Times

OK, Dan Price, this means war. I’m THE happiness CEO. You will not take that away from me with this obvious publicity stunt.

First, I’m THE CEO who reads something and immediately takes action on it with his entire company on the line.

Second, you clearly leaked this to the press. Granted, you seem to have left out Quartz and other leading publications, but this is an inside job, without a doubt.

Third, everyone knows you can’t buy happiness. Just ask my new bestie, Gwyneth.

Fourth, how many books about delivering happiness have you written? That’s what I thought.

Fifth, your name is Dan Price and you started a payments processing company and are now focused on the price of your employees? Really, Dan? If that is even your real name.

Gravity Payments employees trying their best to appear happy.

Gravity Payments employees trying their best to appear happy.

Sixth, I’m having my people publish a new happiness study that shows people are happiest when they are teal. Check your ego, title, and salary at the door.

Seventh, we have “taco Tuesdays”.

Eighth, ever heard of the saying, “money is the root of all evil”, Dan?

Ninth, we have an internal currency at Zappos called Zollars, which is worth $70,000 a year and then some.

Tenth, can’t buy me love, Dan. Can NOT do it.

Happiness war on.

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