Star Wars

I’m a movie connoisseur. When I lived in San Francisco, I once had a place in the same building as a movie theater. I worked out a deal with management where I could get a box of Sno-Caps, medium popcorn and soda anytime I wanted for just under $63. I didn’t even have to tell the workers my order. I’d blink my eyes rapidly three times as I entered the lobby. By the time I arrived at the counter, I was greeted with my discounted combo deal. It’s the one thing I miss about San Fran.

It’s time for me to embrace Zappos core value #6 in order to build an open and honest relationship with all of you. Man, this is hard. Here it goes: I’m not a Star Wars fan. Ouch. Typing that hurt, mainly because I know I’m going to have to face the legions of Star Wars zealots at the office who are foaming at the mouth over the new trailer. They’ll likely sabotage me as I go to get my morning coffee. They’ll be wielding plastic light sabers and donning Jedi capes. Inevitably, one of them will raise the stakes by sporting a replica Chewbacca costume. I’ll try to make small talk, mix up a Star Trek reference by accident, and the next thing I know, I’ll wake up hours later on Fremont Street with a sign around my neck that reads: “I HATE Star Wars. Please kick me really hard. Then kick me again.”

I’m more a Young Adult fiction movie fan these days. My favorite film of 2014 was Divergent. One weekend I watched that flick on repeat from Friday afternoon to the wee morning hours on Monday. Who needs go-go juice when you have Tris and Four valiantly fighting for freedom, justice, and “teenage” lust? Not me.

All that brings us back to Star Wars. In case you missed it, there’s a new trailer for the latest installment, The Force Wakes Up, coming out this Christmas.

 
You might not be aware that the screenplay had some serious problems. I know about these problems because one of my friends worked on the rewrite of the rewrite. I found this out as he was working on the script. He was losing his mind from all the stress and would call me for help.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS!!!!!
I won’t go into all the details, but I did contribute several ideas that made it into the final cut.

  1. Yoda makes an appearance. He’s dead, but even I know Jedi Ministers never really die. Their spirits live on forever. The challenge was in making it clear that Yoda is even more powerful in the spirit realm than he was in the physical one. After much brainstorming, I hit on a small yet powerful concept – change Yoda’s color. Instead of the faded army green look, transform him to a color, no, THE color that represents full power and autonomy – teal. That’s right, Yoda will be making a glorious re-entrance on the big screen as a fully teal certified Jedi Ninja. Kids are going to get out of their seats and cheer when they see this for the first time. They’ll realize that Yoda hasn’t only defeated death, but he’s also overcome the darkest of dark sides – management.
     
  2. Princess Leia reorganizes the rebel forces into hierarchical circles built on purposes that arise from rebel tensions. This is pretty amazing. People think Medium, a less than 100 employee company, being a success story for Holacracy is impressive. Just wait until Princess Leia, serving as Lead Link, dismantles the Sick Lords and restores balance to the universe via Holacratic self-organization. There is one scene that is so intense, J.J. Abrams had to fight to keep the rating under an “R”. I can’t take all the credit for this thrilling act. Holacracy governance deserves some kudos, as the near 20 minute scene revolves around Princess Leia proposing a new role to her inner circle. The Princess fights the good fight as she relentlessly petitions for a Light Cycle Mechanic role to be added to the Rebel Enterprise circle. The objection round gets so heated that Leia grabs an Ewok and threatens to slice it open with her Glaive if the role is not adopted. I’ve spoiled enough already. See the movie for this moment alone.
     
  3. Everyone’s favorite floppy eared comedy relief makes a triumphant return. That’s right, Jar Jar Binky is back! Once relegated to the ranks of bottom dwellers, Binky is able to prove his true value to the Rebel Association thanks to no longer being held back by the traditional command and control structure that was previously in place. Jar Jar fills role after role in numerous Rebel circles. He’s so successful that he almost accidentally spins up a new circle within the evil Empire! Blinkers’ adventure is so fun and whimsical that I’m currently in talks to sign a significant deal to help create a six film series that centers on this most beloved of Star Wars characters. Fingers crossed.
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